Wow, sometimes I think it’s only been a few days since I last updated, and then I realize that it’s been more than a week. Hard to believe! Backtracking once again...
Friday was Ailish’s Greek Day, so we had a lot to do in preparation for that. Thursday night, I attempted to dye her hair to match the bright red Ariel fall we had. It had shells sewn into it, so we wanted it to help with the whole, “rising from the sea,” aspect. I didn’t want to dye her hair with a permanent solution, because I wanted her hair to look normal by the time her graduation rolled around next month. I searched in three different stores and finally ended up at a beauty supply store, where I found the perfect rinse. Thursday night, after all of our other busy-ness, I got down to business and applied the solution to her hair. The bottle warned not to get it on her scalp or hairline, and I wondered how I was supposed to do that. I applied it as gingerly as I could, but I could tell that some parts were touching her skin. My hands were covered in the solution, which honestly resembled movie blood. I looked more like a surgeon than a hair stylist. The instructions said to leave it on for 10-20 minutes, and since I didn’t want it to last any longer than a few days, I decided to err on the side of caution, and go for the 10 minutes.
I rinsed the solution out while Ailish squealed in nervous anticipation. The water was so red, she was scared. Admittedly, I was too! We used an old towel to dry off her hair, then blow dried it. To both of our chagrin, the only things that seemed to take on the dye were her scalp and my hands. Her hair looked exactly the same. Her scalp was orange-y red, which would have maybe been fine except that only portions of her scalp were this wonderful color. I told her to get back in the shower and scrub her scalp as much as she could. After 30 minutes she emerged, her scalp just as red, if not redder now due to the vigorous scrub she gave it. My hands were much the same - nothing was going to erase the color except time. Thankfully, Ailish was zen about it. I promised she would still look good, and she shrugged her shoulders and went with it. I really appreciated her willingness to accept it, because that could have gotten really ugly. Next up was the toga-tying. Though there are plenty of videos on YouTube about proper toga fitting, I still couldn’t quite make it work on Ailish. We found a way to make it work, so she was ready to go the next day. She was quite proud of how it all came together, and I must say, so was I. I thought she looked really beautiful.
I got to the school that afternoon in time to help her set up for their wax museum. She had a vision of how it would go, and she really made that vision come together. In order to complete her seascape, she had brought together pillows, blue fabric and blue tulle, along with borrowing some of Kieran’s shell collection. She had a flower in one hand and a dove in the other, just like Aphrodite’s pictures.
She was a big hit with the kids - they would all gather around and hear her tell her story. The only downside was that she was really nauseated, and I couldn’t tell if that was due to the new medication she was taking or if it was just anxiety. She didn’t want to eat lunch, which I think may have made things worse. Still, she made it through the hourlong presentation, and then they were off to make a Greek craft while I picked up Kieran.
It was another warm day, so instead of sweltering in the car, I grabbed a blanket from the back and laid it out under a tree so Kieran and I could relax. It’s always been amazing to me how close the school is to a major street, and yet, when we sit on the paseos running next to the school, we can hear the sounds of several varieties of birds chirping as we sit underneath beautiful tall trees. In every season, I’ve always loved that spot, and it’s one thing I’m really going to miss next year when we’re no longer a part of the school family. So Kieran and I chatted a bit - I asked her how her day was, and at first she was telling me a story about something they’d done in class, but then all of a sudden, she just started crying. I asked what was wrong, and she explained that there was a group of boys who had been making her life miserable. I asked how long, she answered awhile. I was trying to quantify awhile, and finally determined it had been since February. I could say I’m shocked that she didn’t tell me sooner, but I’m not. She has always taken the role of wanting to take care of things on her own, not wanting to bother me. No matter how much I encourage her to talk to me, she hangs onto things by herself for so long, I don’t hear about it until it’s reached a crisis point. It was time to get Ailish, and she was still upset, so I told her we’d talk about it later - I needed to think about what to do. My heart was hurting for her - we only had 5 weeks left in the school year. As much as it made sense to just stick it out, I also knew that kind of pain of being a leper in the classroom, and I didn’t want her to endure it for any longer than she absolutely had to. I knew that STAR testing was coming up, and once that was over, there was very little in the way of actual learning that would be done. But we had to get Ailish, and we had to get ready for swim, so the issue was tabled for the moment.
Saturday morning, we woke dark and early for Kieran’s swim meet. I was not feeling well at all, but I’d started on antibiotics the day before, and I was determined to get through the day. I was bummed that I wasn’t going to be at the meet for both days, so I hoped we had a good day together, the four of us. Brad and Ailish signed up to time together, which really helped take the pressure off. Kieran had a great 50m Butterfly race, taking 11 seconds off her time. She was happy to win her heat.
She had two other races, and then we were done around noon. She wanted pizza, so we headed to the pizza parlor. By that point, I was feeling just awful, so I did my best to stay upright until lunch was over. Once we got home, I climbed into bed, not to be heard from again until the next morning. I woke to help them get ready and then sent them on their way. The antibiotics had finally kicked in, so I was feeling better. Still, I was sad to send them off without me.
I got ready for my Girl Scout Volunteer Tea, and then met up with five other leaders to drive down to Long Beach, about 65 miles from us. We were having tea on the Queen Mary, which I’d never been to before. I kept waiting for updates on Kieran’s races. She did well on her breast, had a goggle issue with free which was the same issue she’d had the day before, and then added a second to her 100 back. Still, she had a good day. They were headed to Grammapoppa’s to spend the rest of the day with them. I was happy to see my fellow leaders receive awards, and surprised when I received one myself. I knew I was getting an award for our Service Unit, but the personal award was a total surprise! After the luncheon, we walked around the Queen Mary for a bit, and then decided the party should not stop just yet. We headed to PF Chang’s for dinner, and really had such a great time. It’s so rare that we get the chance to be together without time constraints or girls who need something - it was just really nice to catch up and enjoy the day.
I didn’t get home from our outing until after 9:30, but there was Kieran, waiting up for me. I gave her a hug, and thought she just wanted good night kisses, but then she stood there for a moment looking sad. “What’s up?” “Please please please don’t make me go back to school tomorrow.” I had no idea it was still weighing so heavily on her. I told her we would go and talk to the teacher and the principal the next day and sort all this out. I went to bed that night with a heavy heart.
The next morning, I walked her in and talked to the teacher. She said she had no idea this was going on, but she would talk to the boys involved as soon as possible. I then met with the principal and explained that we were leaning towards pulling her because this had gone on for months without anyone realizing or controlling it. She said she didn’t understand why Kieran hadn’t spoken up for months, but I got it - she didn’t want to bother anyone, she thought she could handle it on her own. She didn’t want to bother anyone. I left the school after our brief meeting because I had to be home for therapy with Brenna at 9:00. The session went as well as possible, considering Ailish said some really hurtful things to Brenna during their session on Friday. It cheered Brenna up immensely that she is coming home for a visit the second week of June. She is flying alone for the first time, which is scary, but it was the only way we could feasibly do it, considering Brad’s schedule and the economics of the whole thing. When I fly out to pick her up, I’m adding at least $500 to the tab, with my flights, car rental, food, and hotel if I have to stay over. She’s now old enough to fly on Southwest alone, so I’m hoping it goes well. Half of the time she’ll be here, school will be in session still, and she’ll be here for Ailish’s graduation. I know Ailish isn’t thrilled about that, but it’s nice for me to think that the whole family will be together for an occasion. She’ll have to come with me to the swim practices, she’ll have to do chores, she’ll have to do all the regular stuff. Hopefully it will go well.
I had a ton of errands to run on Monday, and then I had to start the afternoon craziness with pick ups at the school. I asked Kieran how her day went, and she said as soon as her teacher talked to the boys involved, at the very next recess, one of the boys brought two new people into it, two girls, to yell at Kieran for telling on the boy. That was the last straw. Once I picked up Ailish and came home, I emailed her teacher and the principal and said we were done. STAR testing is next week, and I was willing to let her go in to do the testing so they could get her scores, but we were done after that. I kept her home for the rest of the week. It’s amazing how quickly her mood changed. She worked on a class biography project (on Jackie Robinson...she knows how to charm her mommy!) all week. On Tuesday, she wrote the biography. On Wednesday, she wrote her note cards for her speech. And on Thursday, she did her favorite part - making a paper bag puppet in Jackie’s image. She was quiet and helpful. I am now in an ongoing argument with the school that since STAR testing ends next week, and nothing new is learned after STAR testing, I don’t understand why we have to go through the rigors of signing up for Home Study and working for maybe a week at best. It just doesn’t make any sense. It makes me sad that she went for two months in the fall being bullied, and then 2.5 more months of it this spring. I thank swimming even more for giving her a safe place to excel.
In the midst of the day, I learned there was a new troop that was forming to help incoming 7th and 8th grade girls who were Juliettes complete their Pathways to earn their Silver Award and beyond. Since Ailish decided her old troop was a little too active for her, we haven’t been able to participate in anything, so it was a great opportunity for Ailish. Then I discovered they were meeting Monday night, and wouldn’t meet again for a month, so I made a mad dash to get all the forms prepared, and then figure out how we would make all this happen in one day. Kieran had to be dropped off for swim at 5:00, then we had to run to the store to get a Jamba card for Ailish, since they were going to meet at Jamba. Kieran skipped dry land workout so we could leave swim at 6:00 in order to drop Ailish off at her meeting at 6:30. I got her settled, and we raced home to clean up before leaders arrived for Team meeting. The girls really like when we have the leaders here, because they make a menu up and get to be waiters and serve tea and soda to them. Sandy was nice enough to pick Ailish up at 7:30 and drop her off at home. She said she really enjoyed the meeting, which was good. I’m so glad she’s getting back into it - I know she needs that structure of a regular troop meeting.
Tuesday was not shaping up to be nearly as busy, but it did have its own excitement. I learned after calling the junior high to find out when Choir try-outs would be held that Ailish was not enrolled in the school, so I had to race down there to make sure she was properly a member of the school. Then, as I was driving up to pick Ailish up from school, I turned into the neighborhood in time to see a young teenaged boy laying in the street, obviously in a great deal of pain. I, and three other cars, pulled over to see if we could help. He was not wearing his helmet - in fact, it was dangling from the handlebar and actually caused the accident as it got caught between the bar and the frame of the bike and brought the bike to an abrupt halt, while physics propelled him over the bar and onto the pavement, head first. He was complaining of dizziness, and said his stomach hurt, so we told him to stay where he was. At first, he said not to call the ambulance, and we were able to get ahold of his mom, so we waited for a minute or two, but he was feeling worse, so we went ahead and called 911. Sandy picked up Ailish while I waited for the paramedics to arrive. I felt bad for the boy - he felt stupid until they put the neck collar on him and braced him to the back board. He looked pretty scared at that point. His mom had just arrived in time to watch them load him into the ambulance. I instantly remembered Kieran’s concussion, off a tricycle of all things. One of the scariest things I’ve been through as a mom. Around our house, if you’re on wheels, you are helmeted!
It’s funny because literally, as I was driving to school that day, I was thinking about an email my friend Ellen had sent me that morning. It was a letter to all of us who grew up in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s, without helmets, without seatbelts, without antibacterial gels. How did we possibly survive without these things? How we would run around outside all day, our mothers not having a clue as to where we were, as long as we made it back at sundown, they were happy, and we were happy. There was no obesity - we were too busy running around all day. I was thinking about the fact that my girls have never had that kind of freedom - I am always concerned about the worst possible outcome, and then I work backwards from there. On the way to the school, I passed an adult on a bike without a helmet. I wondered what the statistics were - how many people were actually saved from injury or death by wearing those helmets? And then I saw that boy. Yes, sometimes it might seem overboard, what we do now to protect our kids, but it only takes one time to remind you that we do it for a reason.
Wednesday morning, Brad left for a City Attorneys Conference in Squaw Valley. We were officially on our own for the rest of the week. I had a long meeting with some leaders on Wednesday afternoon, and then Kieran and I ran errands until it was time to get Ailish and do the afternoon dance. Thankfully, we had nothing else that night - we needed a break! I watched the Dodgers break the record for home starts. It was a good night. Life was good.
Thursday, we left early for a urology appointment for Ailish in Beverly Hills. It’s only 45 miles from us, but with traffic, it can be tricky to know how long it will take to get down there. I left with one hour and 45 minutes to get there, and we just made it. As we were sitting in the exam room waiting for the doctor, I got a text from my friend, Diane. “What’s up with Manny?” I thought, hmm, did his hamstring get injured again last night? I quickly fired up my web access on my phone, and there it was, big headlines. No, Manny, no. I know, I *know*, it’s just baseball. But it’s not just baseball for me. It is my distraction, it is my oxygen. I know for a fact that life is much harder to handle from October - April. There’s nothing to be my diversion during those months. I love that I can be totally, intensely, in the middle of a game, from the comfort of my bed. Yet, I can also be there, right there, in the middle of the stadium, and it’s absolutely magical for me, every single time. I haven’t made it there this year. Between Kieran’s schedule, their new penchant for Saturday day games (I can’t sit in the sun that long - it’s like begging for a Lupus flare), and the cost of tickets, things just haven’t lined up yet. But I check the schedule all the time, dreaming of the day I can get back to the stadium. And now, with this news, it’s like finding out Santa isn’t real. Sure, I may have had suspicions, but as long as I kept believing, and as long as the magic kept happening, it was better to believe in the good, right? And now, the good is gone. I tried to absorb the news. I wondered if the girls would ask about it. I thought it would be a good teachable moment for Kieran. I don’t think they’ve actually heard it yet, though. I knew this would be a blow for the team. I had hoped it would be a blip, that maybe they’d want to prove more than ever that they could do it without him. But from what I’m hearing, the team is more upset by Manny’s refusal to talk to them, the players. He’s talked to the GM, he’s talked to the owners, but aside from a brief conversation with Torre on the day the news broke, he hasn’t talked to the team. That probably hurts more than the initial news. The honeymoon is dramatically over. Our dream run is tainted. And the Dodgers have responded by losing two in a row, to teams that are far less caliber than they are. They seem stunned into submission, just like the rest of us. Thankfully, today, they came back and showed what kind of team they can be, with or without Manny. I hope that the setback was temporary, and that they will carry on as they should. I finally had to have that difficult conversation today with Kieran, talking about steroids, cheating, and sports. She didn’t quite understand it until I put it into swimming terms, and then it became very clear. I knew that baseball had these elements, but this really puts it right into the forefront. I hate having that kind of conversation with my kids.
After her doctor appointment, we cruised Beverly Hills a bit. We drove down Rodeo Drive, found a Jamba to get a snack, and then drove down Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood. We ended up at the Los Angeles institution, Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles. Ailish wasn’t hungry, though, so we ate as quickly as we could and got back on the road for home. I had a leader meeting Thursday night, so I had to prep for that, and of course, Kieran had swim first. It was going to be another one of those crazy nights.
Yesterday was so busy. We had a brief respite during the morning, but from the time we got Ailish from school, we were on the run. Kieran had a troop meeting from 3:30 - 5:00. We had to leave early at 4:30 to get her to swim on time. After I dropped her off, I took Ailish home so she could get ready for the Girl Scout Father-Daughter Sweetheart Dance. Grandpa graciously stepped in to be her date. I ran back to pick up Kieran, then came home to straighten up a bit and get my camera ready (I was the photographer for the night). Grandpa brought Ailish a corsage, which was so sweet. We took a few pics, and then Grandpa and Ailish went off in one car while Kieran and I went in the other.
Since the dance was for 4th graders and up, Kieran was going to be my assistant.
It was a great night for everyone - I love taking pics of the couples. I have been doing it for 4 or 5 years now, and it’s so interesting to see the girls grow up. When they are younger, they are so excited to finally be able to go to the dance with their dads. As they get older, they either play it up more, with a sense of humor, or you can tell that this will be their last year. They start to distance themselves from their dads. It’s kind of sad to see, but you know it’s part of the process. Grandpa was such a sport, and Ailish had a great time. After the dance, we said goodbye to him and helped with the clean up. We got home at 10:10, and just a few minutes later, Daddy pulled in. We were glad he made it in time to say good night to the girls.
This morning, we were up bright and early. First up was Ailish’s second riding lesson. The instructor was running a bit behind, which would have been fine, but we had a very carefully constructed schedule today. I knew this was going to throw us off. I called Brad and warned him he needed to leave with Kieran at 12:30 to get to the Junior Lifeguard Try-Outs. Ailish got on her horse about 20 minutes late. I took pics, but it’s hard to tell she’s having a good time. She is so serious, so intent, which the instructor says is a good thing, but it’s hard to tell she is having a good time. She says she gets lost in it, which is a really good thing for her, much like baseball is for me.
Next week, she will have a different instructor, so I hope it goes as well. I signed her up for summer camp today, two days a week for three weeks. Hopefully she’ll enjoy it. From there, we raced to the site of Kieran’s try-outs. We beat Brad and Kieran there, so we just waited and then I switched off girls. The try-outs were interesting. I think in her competitive environment, she can easily lose sight of just how much progress she’s made because she’s always comparing herself to the person who just beat her. The try-out requirements weren’t terribly demanding, but still, she stressed about it beforehand. She was required to swim 100 yards in less than two minutes, 30 seconds. Her 100 Free is currently 1:38, so I knew she would be fine. Still, it wasn’t until I saw her out there, racing against another 9-year-old and two 11-year-olds, that I could see how far advanced she is. She finished with nearly a length of the pool between her and the next girl. She was also required to swim underwater for 10 yards, and then tread water for three minutes. We were in and out in 30 minutes, mostly thankfully to luck, as her name was pulled for try-outs very quickly. She’ll do Junior Lifeguards for the first month of summer. I’m not sure if she’ll have the energy to swim also, but we’ll keep it there and see how she does with both. I would just like her to have the opportunity to do other things on the lake, like kayaking, and she’ll learn first aid and CPR, which is always useful (and worth a Girl Scout badge - nothing like double duty :) Plus, it will keep her away from Ailish for a month, which is always a good thing.
I talked to Brenna today, and, miracle of all miracles, all of the jeans fit! Of course, her favorites are the Aeropostales, but that's okay, I now know that they have good sales :)
After a stop at the grocery store, we came home to a clean patio, which is really the only Mother’s Day present I wanted! We have a tree (don’t ask me what kind, I am *horrible* with botanics) that blooms in the spring, these little tiny white flowers, and then with the terrible wind we’ve had these past couple of weeks, all of the dried flowers have blown into our patio. That, combined with year-old pool noodles, had made for a very scary patio. Brad cleaned everything up and washed it down. Thanks, honey!
So, tonight is a party for my friend Ellen’s husband, where I am doing double duty as photographer and reveler. Let’s hope the photography comes first before the revelry gets into full effect!
I have to say, around here, it’s been so much calmer the last week or so. I don’t know if it’s just been so busy that they haven’t had a chance to argue much, or if things are finally settling in, but it’s been almost pleasant. Sure, there is still sibling stuff, but it’s truly sibling stuff, not something more sinister. Ailish is definitely still paranoid and that sort of thing, but things have definitely evened out into a much more stable kind of routine. I am very very cautiously optimistic that maybe this summer won’t be as difficult as I’d feared. Cautiously.
As for tomorrow, I have absolutely, blissfully, nothing planned. I might scrap a little, which reminds me, somewhere during the last month, I did get a few pages done! Standard disclaimers and all that - nothing earth shattering, but it’s recorded, and that’s what matters the most.
And, I will be teaching for Cropper Hopper at ScrapFest in September in Minneapolis! So I’m excited about that as well. I’m just planning to relax tomorrow - I don’t want to fight the crowds at restaurants, I just want to enjoy being at home. I’m thinking of my mom, wishing she were here, but mostly I’m just looking forward to the possibility of a blank slate tomorrow, because, once again, there is a very busy week ahead!
Kids can be so cruel, I swear! And it's amazing that the school didn't nip it in the bud as soon as those boys brought in 2 girls to harrass Kieran. I don't blame you for taking her out of there after testing.
Posted by: Kim | May 09, 2009 at 07:03 PM